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Wonder Woman

"Geez, I know all that, Mom! I'll be OK, really,"
the excited Drucilla exclaimed. "You've told me
all that stuff before."

"Drucilla darling, it's not that I don't trust
you, but it's just so important, now that Diana
has disappeared. You are the only other Amazon
that has ever visited the World of Men and only
you can fill in until you find her. Things are
going from bad to worse there for women. And it's
all so mysterious. We think some Evil Power may
have been involved in what happened to Diana."

"Gee, Mom, I don't see what's so mysterious. You
know Diana has always been oversexed. You haven't
seen her orgasming like crazy every time some two-
bit evil genius ties her up and tries to climax
her into submission or the way she grinds her hips
back onto the member of one of those plantamals
that capture her and tries to plant it's seed in
her. I think she just got tired of being a
technical virgin. She hadn't been violated and
orgamsed silly in so long she shacked up with that
Steve Trevor who had been trying to get into her
pants for all these years. Looks like she was
getting it so good from ole Stevie, she got a
little careless and let him put a little bun in
her oven. Then, when the shame of being a pregnant
Wonder Woman got too bad, she fled into hiding.
But don't worry, Mom, I'll find her."

"You may be right, my dear! But why at least
didn't she come back here? We would have accepted

"Gosh, Mom, from the lectures you've given me all
my life, I'll bet she didn't feel that an Amazon
girl showing up back on Paradise Island with a big
belly would exactly be welcomed with open arms."

"Oh, dear! Perhaps some of the blame does fall on
me. But it IS more complicated than you think,
darling. We've made inquires; her OB/GYN told us
she was three or more months pregnant BEFORE she
started sleeping with that military
person. Yet she had not lost her superpowers.
Apparently she had been impregnated earlier, but
without her having "given herself" to a man Her
powers only started to fade when she began letting
Col. Trevor ... you know."

"'Fuck' mom. Can't you say 'fuck?' Steve was
fucking her." Still, Dru was momentarily sobered.

"Besides not knowing what you're up against, you
don't have much time. If you don't find her or
take Diana's place, Paradise Island is doomed,"
Drucillia's worried mother continued.

"Huh? How could my failure in the World of Men --
not that I'm going to fail -- harm Paradise
Island?" Dru asked.

"I've never told you or the others, but you have
to know. We Amazons don't really own Paradise
Island. The gods only extend our lease in return
for the services of an Amazon. She has to handle
all the dirty little chores in the World of Men
that the Gods would have to take care of
otherwise. But now there is some guy who's rich as
Croesius - Portes? Doors? Gates? -- That has
offered Zeus billions for the place, wants to
develop it as a Club Eros or something. To
persuade him to let us stay long enough to give
you a chance took everything I could do. And I do

"Mom! You don't mean you let him ...?"

"'Fuck, Dru. Can't you say, 'fuck'? Zeus was
fucking me. Weekly! Or should I say 'weakly?'
Humph! The erstwhile Father of the Gods and Men is
definitely over the hill as a lover. Could hardly
get it up twice a day and only fucks for an hour
or so before he looses it."

"Mother!" Dru could hardly believe her ears.

"Of course Hephaestus was even worse. A few
friendly fucks weren't enough to get him to make
you a new golden lasso and magic girdle. He
insisted I take out my magic diaphragm so he could
get me --"

"Mother, you don't mean --"

"Yes, Dru. There is going to be a new little
Amazon on Paradise Island for the first time since
your were a baby," Hypolite sighed, patting her
tummy and not looking all that unhappy about the
divine extortion. "At least Aphrodite had taught
HIM a thing or two about how to please a woman.
And with you going away, well, I guess it'll be
nice to have another little girl around the

'Just a minute, Mom!" Dru asked, wheals turning.
"I was born just after Diana was sent to the World
of Men. Does that mean that you ..."

"Well, how else do you think I got him to make
DIANA's lasso and girdle?"


Now that was quite a revelation, no? Perhaps
before we get down to following Dru's exciting
adventures, we should take a look at just what our
Amazonette will face in the World of Men. Without
our star-spangled superheroine things have gotten
pretty bad.


- All the summer movies all have pregnancy
themes: they have to. Few actresses younger than
60 can be found that are not pregnant, or nursing
a newborn, or both.

- CNBC women newscasters all are proudly toting
bellies of different sizes. Debra Marcini, always
the pioneer, nurses her six-month old on camera
and invites viewers to guess the sex of the one
she expecting next.

- The summer Olympics have special categories for
pregnant pole-vaulters, knocked-up marathoners and
mommy-to-be figure skaters."
- The Miss America Beauty Pageant is forced to go
all-preggo with special bonus points given for a
"firm-contoured-well integrated baby mound".

- Production on teen soap operas on the WB and
Fox become erratic owing to dozens of attractive
nubile actresses in their ultra-fertile 20's
getting knocked up.

- Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge announce
they are splitting because Harrison Ford got them
both preggers!

- Madonna does a lovingly depicted barefoot-
pregnant-and-chained-to-a-stove photo shoot for
Rolling Stone.

- Major retailers have maternity brands: "The
Mommy Republic," "The Bulge," and "Bloomin'
Dale's." - "Fitness" magazine has a "Fit
Pregnancy" offspring.

-The faux-affectionate "air kiss" on the cheek of
two women who meet has been replaced by a giggly
mutual tummy bump/pat/check-out.
-The finals of women's tennis features the
pregnant Venus and Sabrina Williams duo facing the
knocked up team of Martina Hingis and Anna
Kournikova. A proud-as-a-peacock Jimmy Conners is
rooting for the waddling Williams sisters while
Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras are glaring
suspiciously at each other in the other bleachers.

Drucilla only realized the full extent of the rot
one evening as she tried to catch up on the news
and found herself instead watching "Style, with
Elsa Klensch." After what seemed like an eternity
of assault from the CNN logo and jangling fanfare,
the program opened with a pan of ... a television
studio. "Today, rather than take you to some
exotic location I've decided there are quite
enough examples of the newest in styles for us
professional girls right here at home," intoned Ms
Klensch in her trademark voice over.

The next half hour was surreal. It quickly became
apparent what kind of fashions had suddenly come
into vogue with the hardheaded ladies of CNN.
"Notice how the soft green prima cotton skirt
flatters Ms Voss's expanding figure while allowing
those overloaded tits to bob so enticingly," Elsa
pointed out. Indeed, The long-legged Vossie looked
as if she had managed to get pregnant with
triplets the day news of the Wonder Woman's
disappearance hit the ticker. The smiling weather
woman pirouetted in front of her maps most
fetchingly, her short maternity skirt flying out
to clear up any doubts viewers may have had about
her being a natural redhead.

"Sissel McCarthy tries to look perky in this hot
pink smock with matching heels, but frankly our
viewers rather like the way she waddles onto the
set and pushes her belly up to the news desk.
Sissy, what do you find the most difficult part of
holding down a demanding job like yours while
waiting for your twins?"

"Gosh, Elsie, I don't know, but I guess it's those
long stints on camera before John Metaxis can get
me backstage and 'help me unwind,' if you know
what I mean," she tittered. "Sometime I have to go
for two or three hours without a good "

Although she did her best to answer Elsa's
questions, Laurin Sydney was at that stage of
pregnancy where all she really wanted to do was
sleep and get fucked. Jim Moret, who evidently
hadn't spent ALL his time in LA, tried to fill in
but he was distracted and the curvy blonde kept
snuggling into his arms and pulling his hand
between her legs. More than most, Laurin had lost
her interest in journalism as the bulge Jim had
put there, and was now massaging tenderly,

"And that's it for this week on Style," Elsa
announced as the camera drew away to finish up
with a shot of Ms Klensch's proud pregnant
profile, which Riz Khan was patting tenderly.

The most shocking examples of all these goings on,
however, was the virtual collapse of NPR when the
girls of the "fallopian jungle." Cokie Roberts,
Nina Tottenberg, Linda Wortheimer, all decide to
stay home with "this one." Of course idle hands
..., but that's another story. The wags started to
call it National Pregnant Radio. How did this

Well, it seems the first to fall by the wayside
was Linda, whose husband had run off with a cutie
that had let him get her pregnant. After weeks of
depression (and getting tired of her vibrator
every night) Linda heard about Dr. Althea's public
television talk show. After seeing Althea advise
women on getting on with one's life, Linda thought
about it. She realized this meant she should be
getting her brains fucked out as often as
possible. She thought about it some more and
decided that she deserved a stud muffin of her
very own. Not long afterwards Linda found herself
frequenting sports bars and taking up with Ricky
from ESPN, a hunky ex-shot putter. Ricky had only
to put a few shots into Linda before grandmother
Wortheimer was headed for the maternity ward.

Even before her friends found out THAT little
fact, Cokie and Nina noticed that Linda had not
only gotten over her husband's split amazingly
fast, but she was suddenly glowing. They also
noticed disturbing changes in Linda's behavior, --
proper NPR gravitas ruined by a tendency to break
out in giggles. Fortunately it was radio, so
listeners were unaware of the equally shocking
change in Linda's wardrobe, daring miniskirts in
brilliant, scandalous colors, big loopy earrings,
high-heel, open-toed sandals showing off brightly
painted toe nails. When Cokie or Nina finally
confronted her what was going on, Linda just
smiled and invited them and their husbands to her
SC beach house for a week "to meet him."

To their wives' disgust, Steve and Charles were
not as upset at what they heard about Linda's
behavior. In fact they seemed all to eager to see
her and to meet the new beau that could inspire
the kind of sexiness they wished for their own
wives, who hadn't shown any knee in public for ten

Linda opened the door to the cottage wearing hot
pants and a bra-less blouse tied just below her
magnificent new set of tits (thanks to a healthy
dose of vitamin Silicone taken at Ricky's
suggestion). Cokie and Nina almost had to break
elbows in their husbands' ribs to keep them from
ogling. Knowing how to diffuse a tense situation,
Linda ushered everyone into the sitting room and
had everyone high on wine coolers by the time
Ricky came in from jogging on the beach.

Though they would never have admitted it,
especially with their husbands right there, both
Cokie and Nina were rather jealous when they got a
look at their older friend's lover. He was Latino
and built and it was obvious what Linda saw in
him. The excited hostess just tuned out her guests
for several minutes as she greeted Ricky with a
sizzling kiss. Eyes closed, she fondled the
prominent erection through his Speedos, while
letting him toy with her tits and make her moan
from some naughtiness his hand had found to do
between her legs. Steve and Charles grinned at
each other and scooted closer to their wives who
pretended not to look.

Eventually Linda calmed down a bit. "This is
RICKY," she sighed, "My new 'friend.'"

Cokie and Nina were slightly put off when Ricky
patted Linda's butt and sent her off to fetch
beers for "me and m' new buddies," but the
breathless woman gladly jumped up and soon re-
appeared with three tall ones, bending over to
give her "friend" and the other two men an eye-
popping peek at her surgically-enhanced cleavage.
"Cokie, Nina, why don't we girls go into the
kitchen and fix lunch so the guys can talk," Linda

The two women rolled their eyes at each other,
since neither Cokie or Nina had cooked a meal in
years and so far and they knew, Linda couldn't
boil water either. Wrong! "I've been taking crash
gourmet cooking classes because the way to a man's
heart -- and you know his 'what else' giggle>-- is through his stomach." That explained
why Linda had been turning down afternoon
reporting assignments recently. Though as far as
Cokie and Nina could tell, Linda had no trouble
getting to Ricky's "what else."

Once in the kitchen, Linda was dying to know what
her friends thought of Ricky, and didn't he have
the most gorgeous abs -- and that's not all --
and, does he ever know how to use
it, and she'd never know how sexy it was to give a
guy blow jobs, and she loved the way his come
tasted ("and just five calories, what a great diet
drink"), but he certainly made it worthwhile
because he could eat her to so many orgasms she
passed out, and she'd never had sex even twice a
day before with her ex, but Ricky did her four or
five times, and she was totally in love, and she
had just been dying to tell them sooner, but he
promised he was going to get her

Nina was totally taken aback by Linda's non-stop
gush of words. Of course she was flabbergasted
that her friend of fif...[oops, it isn't nice to
tell a lady's age] would think about letting a man
twe ...[watch it!] so much younger than she, knock
her up and off her career track. She was also
quite surprised that Linda would go down on her
new lover, but she was also green with envy that a
prune-face like Linda had a sexy guy eating her
out regularly. Nina had blown Charles a few times
when they were first married. Like most women who
had been around the block a few times before tying
the knot (she had lost her virginity -- better
said, cast it aside like a used tampon -- at
thirteen when she seduced the Sr. High
quarterback) Nina rather liked the taste.
Charles's was better than most. But when she tried
to get him to give HER some nice tongue action and
he made a face as if she had asked him to drink
from the Anacostia, she stopped giving head. It
just convinced her what a selfish lover he was and
rather cooled her ardor for him. She still fucked
him every day from need, but frankly she was
coming to prefer her vibrator. IT always got her
off and didn't snore when ITS batteries ran down.

Cokie, on the other hand, was completely
scandalized. She hardly focused on the thought of
someone like Ricky putting her older friend back
in maternity clothes. Rather, she was shocked and
horrified that a woman of fif...[tch tch] would
commit the disgusting and immoral acts Linda was
admitting to, indeed boasting of! The thought of
allowing a man to place his penis in her mouth was
revolting as well as indecent. Steve knew better
than to ask! But even more revolting was the idea
of allowing a man to touch her private parts with
his hands or -- worse -- his mouth. Cokie knew
from experience with Steve what that led to. It
was not only sinful, but also dangerous. Their
second and third children (of the planned one) had
resulted when, in a moment of weakness, she
allowed Steve to touch her down there. In no time
she was screaming in orgasm and Steve was in her,
making her a mommy again.

Cokie realized she was prone to sin in that way
and she struggled daily to resist the urges to
pleasure herself. Before they married, she had
thought Steve was a nice boy who understood that
sex was only for having babies. Instead, he went
along with those Post-Counciliar priests who said
that sex could be a means of expressing love or
even just having fun! Cokie didn't buy it. The
nuns had been very specific on that point. She
even felt guilty about allowing Steve to fuck her
on day twenty-seven. The Pope had said it was OK,
but pleasure without procreation felt like
cheating. Still, she did love Steve and knew how
he suffered on account of her virtue. She had long
ago resigned herself to finding evidences of Steve
almost nightly sin with his had. Now here was
Linda, whom she had always thought to be an
upright woman, glorying in giving and receiving
pleasure not only from out-of-wedlock intercourse,
but also from the most perverse acts Cokie could

Linda was so wound up from her close encounter
with Ricky she wouldn't shut up as she flung
together ham, cheese, bread and chips. Putting
some of those cooking lessons to use was obviously
never in her plans, or if it was, getting her
titties fondled and her pussy felt had knocked
them right out of her head. Nina had little doubt
why Linda was so eager to get the mid-day meal
behind them.

Had they never seen one of Dr. Althea's programs,
Linda rattled on. Of course Linda recognized they
were on public TELEVISION, (Linda uttered the word
as if naming a lower phylum in the Linnean
classification of media, somewhere between "Hello"
magazine and the segmented worms), but the Doctor
made such sense and had helped her so much and her
noon-time program was on in just a few minutes and
they just HAD to see it.

There was no opportunity for Nina and Cokie to
object as Linda carefully arranged three
sandwiches for the men on a try with more beer,
pushed wine coolers into the hands of her friends
whom she left to make their own sandwiches and
wiggled off to give the boys lunch (and another
peek at her boobs).

Hilarious laughter from the sitting room drew Nina
and Cokie there double-time. The two women were
pretty sure Ricky had made some crude remark about
his girlfriend's new endowments and, far from
chastising him for his sexist attitude, their
husbands were lapping it up. Lapping it up, in
fact, was a pretty good description of what Ricky
was doing to Linda's honkers, when her friends
walked in. Ricky he had popped Linda's boobies out
of the pesky blouse, and was using his amazingly
long tongue to make the older woman squirm and
giggle with delight.

Their spouses, however, had fallen stone silent.
It wasn't hard to tell what had shut them up,
though their mouths hung open. The television
program that Linda had been so keen for them all
to see had begun. Their husbands' eyes were
riveted to the brilliant oversized screen where a
voluptuous woman of indefinite age was prancing
and flirting with the camera as she talked. Both
Nina and Cokie began guessing which Miss Clairol
bottle her hair color had come from, though they
supposed that was not what held their spouses'
attention. More likely was the skirt that stopped
at least five inches up her thigh or the slit that
continued up another two or three. On the other
hand, it might also be the set of knockers that
seemed to be fairly screaming to be released from
a push-up bra and out for manual inspection. But
in their heart of hearts both women knew what it
really was: the beach-ball belly of the television

'Men,' thought Nina, as she turned her attention
to the television. As she suspected this Dr.
Althea was just an upscale version of the silly
psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Good
communication was important between partners: what
a cliche. Wait, did she hear that right? Women
were always eager to please their men but needed
to be told clearly exactly what to do? "Loving but
firm instruction is what we need, guys" she
giggled. "A woman who has been trained to do as
she's told around the house will be
the kind of sex kitten you want her to be in bed."

There was something wrong about that, but Nina
couldn't figure out just what. As she continued
listening, it started making more sense. Of
course, Althea explained, if a man wanted a woman
who was hot for him day and night, he had to make
it worth her while. Keeping her fucked stupid
wasn't a physical possibility, given the raging
libido of a modern woman. But there ware other

Althea sympathized that some men had never been
taught how eating a woman properly could make her
your slave. Therefore she had arranged for a
demonstration. Then, right in front of Nina and
millions of other viewers, Althea lifted her
maternity dress and motioned off camera. 'My God,'
Nina thought, 'the slut isn't wearing panties and
she is DRIPPING.' Nina hadn't seen the two men,
who were nodding silently, so rapt by a TV program
since the last Super Bowl.

Promptly a burly, hairy man appeared and without
saying a word, buried his face in between Althea's
legs. For the next forty-five minutes, until
Althea became incoherent during her umpteenth
orgasm, the nation was treated to the first
narrated cunilingus session ever shown on national
television. Near the end it got so intense that
Nina had to get a little relieve from her own
fingers. When she recovered, the program was over
and the scene had shifted to banks of telephones.
It was pledge week and "the kind of quality
programming you have just seen cannot survive
without your generous support." Steve and Charles
had their checkbooks out, scribbling furiously.

'Men,' thought Cokie, as she turned her attention
to the television. As she suspected this Dr.
Althea was just an upscale version of the silly
psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Of course
good communication was important between partners.
Wait, did she hear that right? Women needed
constantly to ask their partners what they could
do to please them better, how they could be sexier
and more accommodating in bed? That was bullshit!
It was perfectly obvious how to please a man. They
were all just overgrown fourteen-year-old boys.
After all, a bombshell like Cokie Roberts didn't
need advice from this blond bimbo. A little red
leather miniskirt would knock Steve's sock off!
Some high heels would put a wiggle in her walk
that would get her fucked as often as he could get
it up. She didn't have to ask Steve anything. The
erection he'd get when she met him at the door
wearing nothing but heels and a bow around her
neck would be all the communication she needed. Of
course she already knew what he really wanted, for
her to start on a second crop of babies. Well, she
was fertile, he could get started tonight, Hell,
this afternoon.

When Cokie looked around, she saw Nina with a
flushed expression on her face and the boys with
what can only be described as a shit-eating grin.
Apparently Ricky and Linda didn't need to watch a
program about improving communication. Ricky had
Linda her back on a couch and was communicating
about a third of his large cock into the pussy of
the spasming woman who was crying out for more.
"Ricky, darling, don't tease me like that. I need
it all in me! Fuck me baby, fuck me!

"Are you sure, Lindy-Windy" the athletic young man
replied, grinning and keeping up a tantalizingly
slow sawing motion in and out of his girlfriend's
weeping cunt. "Don't you remember what happened
the night we met?"

"How can I forget, you beautiful SOB!" she gasped.
"You felt me up in the bar until I couldn't think
straight, then took me to your apartment and
fucked me stupid."

"And what happens to girls who let boys fuck them
stupid without protection?"

"They get knocked up like I did, you bastard
maker. Now shut up and put it to me!"

"You want me to do it again, to get you even more
pregnant? To have a big bellyful of my baby?"

"Yes, yes, dammit! I don't care if I get too big
to fit in my parking space, just FUCK ME!

Nina had been a little worried about how docile
and submissive Linda had been around Ricky. Now
she was relieved to see that when Linda
communicated clearly with Ricky, telling him
exactly what she wanted done, he did it. Go girl!
As the young man lengthened and deepened his
strokes and Linda's moans turned to shrieks of
ecstasy, Nina looked at Cokie and then at Charles
and smiled. "I think I need a good long
nap," she said and headed down the hall toward the

Cokie gave Steve a similarly seductive look and
replied, "Me too. I'm feeling very
sleepy," and sauntered toward the hall, giving her
hips an exaggerated wiggle. Charles and Steve high
fived and followed their wives swaying assess.


The first days following the vacation Linda saw a
marked improvement in both her friends, in Nina's
attitude and in Cokie's attire. Nina's bored
indifference to her husband, apparent to her
friends, underwent a U turn. She wouldn't shut up
about how affectionate Charles was, how good
looking, how intelligent, how successful, how
attentive and how he fucked her brains out night
and morning. Cokie, it turned out had knees after
all, though few noticed them when she started
showing so much flesh to the north. Three, then
four, and finally five inch heels replaced the
drab flats she wore and suddenly her arms grew
bracelets and bangles and her fingers and toes
were painted in a dazzling sequence of colors. The
topper was when she bent over one day to reveal a
small heart tattooed just inches below her ass-

A few weeks later Cokie and Nina burst into
Linda's cubical, laughing excitedly. "We've just
come from Dr. Vargas's clinic and..." Cokie almost

Nina interrupted her little friend, "Since he's
got almost eight months to plan, he's going to get
us adjoining rooms in Sibley Maternity," she
announced with a smirk.

"So, the boys did it, eh? I'm so happy for you!"
Linda gushed a little insincerely, hugging the two
women against her own now very noticeable tummy.
"I guess that makes us about even," she continued
with a hint of triumph in her voice. "Ricky has
given me twins!"

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