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Kinky side of sex


Excerpts from a forum dedicated to the kinky side of
sex, in this case mechanical sexual simulation. (MF)

***

I found a pneumatic drill vibrated at quite an
interesting frequency. Some people say they get turned
on in trains.

Do you find any machines arousing? Do you have any
stories to tell about such encounters?

* Peter *


Peter,

Very interesting topic!

A former roommate of mine once told me that he would
never have hit it off with his wife if it hadn't been
for his MOTORCYCLE. He claimed that when they first
met, she liked him only for his bike. Supposedly, she
found the motorcycle's vibrations to be very
(sexually) stimulating. To this day, I can't help but
smile when I see them va-room-ing down the road.

Also, the enema-erotica among us have been using
machines for years to get their kicks. While the
standard enema/douche bag may not be a machine, there
have been a number of ENEMA-LIKE MACHINES invented
over the years including the colonic irrigator,
Equisier's spring-operated apparatus, Juke's
apparatus, the mechanical enema table, and the JBL
Cascade Internal Bath. While most of these are now
antiquated, I have no doubts that all are still in use
somewhere.

*Kevin*

---

Dear Kevin:

I used to a ride a motorcycle and although I did get
kicks out of it they weren't of the erotic variety.
However I did have several lady friends who enjoyed
riding on it - perhaps now I know why! I have also
been told by several women that they can get turned on
by the vibrations in buses and trains. This seems to
apply particularly to women.

Comments anyone?

Best wishes,
Peter

---

Dear Peter,

*vBrrrrRRRRatorz!*
...Bruce

---

Dear Peter:

I remember taking a train trip from Boston to New York
once, and, um... I had a GREAT time!! I
remember the feelings being quite enjoyable.

Now, I ride the commuter train every day, but it is no
big deal. Guess Chicago & Northwestern keeps their
tracks in better shape than whatever that line was. Ah
darn!

Hugs,
Lynn

---

I think the trouble started when they went to
continuous welded rail. Perhaps they lost half their
passengers along with the bumpety-bumpety-bumps!

---

Dear Peter:

Maybe so. I do miss the good old days!

Huggs,
Lynn

---

Dear Lynn

There are, of course, some old lines still in
operation. Do any other machines have a similar effect
for you?

Peter

---

Dear Peter:

Well, sure, the ones that are manufactured for that
purpose . There is something else though. I am a
musician and I play the viola. In my section, if I sit
towards the back and on the inside, sometimes I end up
sitting next to the contrabassoon.

Now, there's an experience. I don't know if you ever
heard one of those, but it is the lowest instrument in
the orchestra, and the vibrations are very slow
compared to any other instruments. You can feel it in
your chair sometimes when you sit next to one. You
never know in this world, do you?

Huggs,
Lynn

---

Hmmmm... I wonder what Gerard Hoffnung would have made
of that one? sexy musical instruments>.

Peter

---

Dear Peter:

Well, do you think violas are sexy?

Huggs,
Lynn

---

It depends who's playing them, Lynn!

I've read a story of a woman who discovered that her
washing machine was a great source of stimulation
claimed to 'ride the corner of the machine' and as it
shifted from wash to spin, she really got off on it.
I've found that as my orbital sander and small, palm
sander, would have great potential as vibrators but
have yet to use them for it. I also think that the
router is a generator of 'good vibrations' but aren't
we getting into a very dangerous area here? Orgasms
from power equipment would surely be frowned on by
OSHA!

Peter

---

Lynn,

I prefer the cello but I'll pay more attention to the
viola henceforth!

This might need referral to one of Howard & Martha's
experts, but as talk here about good vibrations, I
want to add that there are some rules that I think are
valid:

1) Mechanical vibrators, etc. should not be used on
breasts as the connective tissues are very delicate.
Perhaps an application, conservative of course, to the
nipples would cause no harm.

2) As with all other activities, any part that is
placed within the rectum/ anus should be nearly
sterilized before insertion into any other area.
Normal bacterial flora in the colon can be deadly when
introduced into other body areas.

3) Vibrators are like training wheels. They have their
use, they're great fun, but you can't come to rely on
them as they in no way match the capabilities of any
human partner. Wish I could just plug myself in and go
for hours!

Jim

---

Dear Jim

Does that mean that washing machines will now be
delivered in plain brown delivery trucks?

Perhaps the weekly wash can be fun after all! How
about the Launderette as a place to take a date? It's
supposed to be a good pick-up place! Perhaps now we
know why!

Best wishes
Peter

---

Well Peter, I think we need to down-size them a bit
too. I suggested to my wife that she might enjoy the
spin cycle but she demonstrated that she is 4" too
short!

Surely you could improvise in some way. Couldn't she
stand on the laundry basket or something? It could
make all the difference. If it becomes too much fun,
she'll never come up and all of our clothes will be
tattered from excessive wash & spin. I am thinking
about introducing the top of my hand whilst holding
the Black & Decker (B&D!) Palm finishing sander. When
I do cabinet work with this thing my hand is numb
afterwards. A report will follow, if this takes place!
Well, don't any of the women here have any favorites??

If that fails, get a pneumatic drill. If you can stand
the noise, it certainly vibrates enough, as I can
state from personal experience. Black and Decker can't
compare with a full sized compressor and a concrete
busting hammer. (No, no JAP jokes at this stage,
please!)

My favorite is still the shower massage. It leaves
room for any number of alternatives.

*Kathy*

---

Dear Kathy

I know that shower massages are very popular. There's
a design of shower that offers all-round pulsating
jets of water that must be a lot of fun. Do you enjoy
Jacuzzis? I've had mixed reports of their erotic
potential.

Peter

---

Peter: I LOVE Jacuzzis, especially when there aren't a
lot of children running around the complex. I may be
an exhibitionist, but even I have my limits. I hadn't
heard about the all-round pulser jets, but Mr. W. says
he has. Surprise, surprise, I learn something new
about my new husband every day! Kathy

---

I once baptized 47 naked people in a Jacuzzi once.
Also did a marriage, sang a hymn or two, and a burial
at sea. A dead bottle of Jack Daniels as I recall.
course I wasn't too sober at the time, but when I woke
up the next morning (with not one, but 2 women I
didn't know!) I was clutching a damp hotel Bible and a
world class hangover. Aren't engineering conventions
fun??? The night wasn't much in the way of erotic, but
it sure made a good war story.

Cheers
Art

---

How did you end up with *two* women at an
*engineering* convention? That sounds plain greedy to
me, considering the ratio of male to female engineers!

---

That is what I never could figure out either! The real
problem comes when I try to remember if I did anything
with them. For the life of me I simply can't recall.
The opportunity of a lifetime and I sleep through it!
SIGH!!!!!

Art

---

My wife wants to experiment with a vibrator. She's
trying hard to overcome negative feelings and
inhibitions, the few that she has left, but she
doesn't think that she's ready to go buy one herself.
So... what *I* need to know is what kind to get her?
Anyone have any advice on brands, models, features or
anything like that?

Thanks in advance.
Richard T.

---

Dear Richard

You may like to look at the file VIBRAT.THR in DL8.
There is some discussion there.

It is generally considered that battery versions are
to be avoided. The mains ones are very popular. There
is a more powerful feel to the vibration. Good
Vibrations (see the DL for the address) is a store
specializing in vibrators. They recommend the Hitachi
Magic Wand. It is rather large and a little bit noisy,
but very effective. They also offer a range of
attachments, not made by Hitachi but compatible. There
is another type that is much smaller and quieter.

By the way, don't assume it's just for your wife! You
too can enjoy a vibrator. I found the Hitachi to be
very effective: I didn't like the smaller type so
much. One thing I found to be very intense was to have
the vibrator applied while wearing a rubber. The
rubber seemed to spread the vibration around in some
way. The Hitachi is also powerful enough to be
effective even through clothing, and that too can help
to spread the vibration.

Best wishes
Peter

---

Don't get one shaped like a penis. Get a regular
vibrator with all the attachments. She will love
it.....as will you!

---

Thanks for the advice. Everyone seems to think the
Hitachi Magic Wand is *it*. Since I live in Canada, I
hope I can find one, with all the attachments. Perhaps
I can order one from California, but sometimes
exporters can be a little skittish about exporting
things like that.

Richard T.

---

You can probably find the Hitachi in a department
store. The attachments you could probably order
separately from Good Vibrations.

I didn't know they made attachments for the magic
wand. Who'd have thought they could improve on
perfection.

Buzzing along,
Kathy

---

Actually I've already ordered the Magic Wand and one
attachment over the phone from Good Vibrations. The
lady wanted to know if there was anything else I
wanted. I had to answer that there might be, but that
I didn't know what there was to want.

Can hardly wait to see the catalog!

Richard

---

Perfection, eh? My wife is apparently in for a treat.
Maybe I should be jealous.

Richard T.

---

Do let us know the results!

Keys:

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