The Perversion of Lady Jane Grey
Burgabiter lent forward, ready to throw the master switch. The
twist of his wrist was never made, he was thrown sideways away
from the switch by the arrival of a bullish Brighton. Alphonso
struggled against his assailant, while trying to regain his
breath - which had been unceremoniously blasted from him. A
trio of naked women arrived to witness the flailing Burgabiter's
momentous endeavour; to throw off a livid Hove.
Try as he might he could not overcome the other mans athletic
ability, then he spied a brass rod if he could just reach it...
"Jane, pass me the rod, help me to dislodge this lout."
Alphonso screamed.
Jane hesitated, her face a mask of confusion, tears welled up in
her eyes.
"Now girl, your master commands it!" Alphonso barked, angrily,
"Before this dolt chokes the life from me."
Jane moved with surprising speed, she retrieved the rod and
placed it in an outstretched hand. The fingers closed around it
thankfully. The rod crashed into a skull with a resounding thud.
Alphonso rolled to one side, and the figure beneath him stood.
Hove gazed at Jane open-mouthed. "Thank you, most helpful..."
"I had to, there is something wrong. And he is the cause of
it." Jane pointed a dispassionate finger at the slumped
professor.
"You are correct, will you attend to the others while I check
on Ned?"
Jane nodded, and returned to the others who cowered in fear
having seen their master felled.
Hove ran over to Ned and proceeded to rouse him, by delivering
stinging slaps to his face. On the third slap Ned grumbled,
lifted his head, and from his seated position gazed into Hove's
midriff. "Good lord Brighton! Put it away... What a sight for a
chap to awaken to."
Brighton glanced down, his right hand cupped his 'crown jewels'
and returned them to the inside of his britches. "Sorry Holmes,
I forgot I was in a state of dis-array."
"Apology accepted, if you can just assist me in getting out of
this damnable chair..."
Holmes stood staring down at Burgabiter, contempt distorting
his normally handsome face. He swung his head and steadied his
gaze on Brighton. "My thanks to you Hove, I doubt if this
blighter had pleasant plans for my mind. Thanks to your action I
am still whole."
"A pleasure Holmes, what do you intend to do with this madman?"
"Hand him over to the authorities. But first we must return
these ladies to their virtuous selves. It is our duty before
god!"
"Well said Ned. I can not agree more, none should have to
suffer the ignominies these poor ladies have."
"I think it should be a simple task to connect the correct jar
and reverse the electrical flow. This will return the
unaltered brain patterns back to our mis-guided girl's."
"Capital, if you say so Holmes."
"Which of you is Jane?" Asked Holmes.
Jane stepped forward.
"This is the girl that saved us Holmes, she handed me the
weapon which felled the villain." Hove explained.
"Impressive, even controlled by the nefarious Professor her
basic humanity surfaced. Madam I am in your debt."
"I feel that I am more in yours Mr Holmes." She replied smiling.
"Please take a seat in the chair, I will make this as painless
as I can. Hove go back and see if you can retrieve the ladies
clothes. I anticipate their nakedness will cause them some
embarrassment, once they are returned to their natural state."
Hove nodded, and walked past the huddled forms of Constance and
Daphne. He smiled down at them kindly. "You will soon be
restored ladies, fear not."
---------------------------
Jane and Constance sat fully clothed, if a little shame-faced
by the side of the steam engine. It was clear to Holmes that
they had sufficient memory of their adventures to find them
deeply disturbing. Ned turned and walked up to gather Lady
Daphne.
Despite the short distance he never arrived at her side.
As he approached her, an unknown stout man appeared, he acted
quickly and with obvious technical knowledge. He activated a
couple of levers, and in doing so flooded the engine room with
choking steam. All in the room were blinded, although a
commotion could be heard, none saw what was happening. When the
steam finally thinned, Hove could make out Holmes, Ned was waving
his arms furiously - in an attempt to clear the scene.
"Holmes! They have escaped! Burgabiter and the girl are gone!"
Hove shouted, then he rushed after the disappearing detective.
Holmes and Hove stood side-by-side, as they watched the
carriage hurtle away from the building. In the distance they
heard Daphne's voice. "Faster Fred, we are almost free!"
Holmes slapped a hand to the back of his neck and sighed.
"Never mind Ned, we can't win them all." Said Hove.
"True my friend, but I can't help but think we shall meet the
Professor again. Only next time he will be a more formidable
opponent."
"It may be, but for the moment - good riddance! Let us gather
the ladies and leave this den of iniquity. Holmes our task is
done."
"You speak with great sense Hove, wisdom beyond your years. We
have won the battle, we must await the war." Holmes set his
jaw, and walked back into the steamworks.
---------------------------
Holmes and Constance conversed amicably in the relative comfort
of their Hansom cab. Hove and Jane had been dropped at the
Randolph, and by now Hove would have accommodated the reformed
lady. Constance finally asked the question that had burned in
her mind.
"Why did you do it Mr Holmes? To risk you life for three mere
women?"
"I have risked my life for much less worthwhile reasons.
Besides which I feel that each of us, regardless of our created
gender has the right to be free and happy."
"You are a most uncommon, and very agreeable gentleman Mr
Holmes."
"Thank you Constance, you flatter me. Ah, we have arrived. Let
me assist you down dear lady."
Ruby ran along the path and enveloped her sister in a gay
embrace. Together the young women escorted Ned into their home.
Holmes sipped his tea, and delighted in the girlish
conversation of the pretty sisters. Ruby turned to him at last.
"Ned, I do apologise. I did not intentionally ignore you, I am
just so relieved to have my darling Constance back." She
paused, a more sullen look clouded her face, "What are your
plans now Mr Holmes?"
"Tomorrow I reunite another pair of devoted sisters. This time
in London."
"So this eve is your last in Oxford?"
"For the foreseeable future." Replied Holmes.
"That is sad, for us I mean. We shall miss you."
"The feeling is mutual Ruby. But such is life..." Ned's voice
trailed off.
"Ned do you have your pipe and odd tobacco with you?"
"As always, why do you ask?"
"There is a tinder-box on the side. I feel the need for some...
Calmness. I am sure Constance would benefit from some as well."
"But the side-effects, the dark desires."
"I have a plentiful supply of Pinkham's..."
Holmes smiled wistfully, he should resist. He really should.
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